He Gives and Takes Away

Two weeks ago and a day, life was normal. How is it possible that in one split second everything can change, and our world, as we know it, can be shattered to pieces? That's what happened to me...

Monday, June 14, 2010,

6:00 a.m. - My cell phone alarm went off. I got up careful not wake my friend Janelle who was sleeping on a mattress in my room. I had my Bible reading, showered and ate some breakfast.

7:30 a.m. - Got a trufi (taxis that have a set route and take up to five people) up to downtown La Paz. Met our land lady's sister who gave me a manicure as part of her final exam to be a beautician. When I was done, I gave Elisa a call to join me and walked along the Prado (a main street in downtown La Paz). It was a beautiful crisp fall day. Met up with Elisa outside of Burger King. We went to the "Identifications" building to work on the paper work for renewing our Bolivian ID cards. The next few hours were very frustrating, standing in lines, discovering our birth certificates were no longer valid, trying to get directions to the place where we could get new birth certificates printed out, returning to "Identifications," getting an investigation going for some observations on my paperwork...I confess I did a lot of complaining about Bolivian beauracracy!

2:00 p.m. - Two hungry sisters got a trufi back home. As we stepped in the door, we saw our mother crying on the phone. My heart stopped, and I immediately remembered when we got the news of my grandfather's death. My mom got off the phone and told us that my brother Steven had been missing since the night before. I had something to eat and then walked over to the Rodriguez home to do some babysitting. I told my mom, "If there's bad news, please don't call me. I don't want to upset the kids I will be babysitting."

5:15 p.m. - I got home and was puzzled by all the people at the house. I didn't recognize most of them. My mom came out of the kitchen. She walked up to me and said, "It was bad news, Celina." She put her arms around me, and I immediately began to cry. I somehow knew that my brother was dead. The next few hours were a blur of activity as people poured in to the house to express their condolences. In the midst of it all, I tried to pack as I was told we were leaving for Canada early the next day. By the end of the evening, I didn't want people to leave. I didn't want to be left alone with my pain.

Two Weeks Later - I find myself in Victoria, B.C. The last couple of weeks have been hard, but I am amazed at how God's grace has sustained us. I have felt very blessed by all the people around the world that have been writing to us expressing their sympathy and loving prayer support. It has been good to be surrounded by family and to grieve together. The memorial service, a week ago Saturday, was a special time to remember Steven and let people know what special person he really was!

The grief still comes back in waves, but I am amazed at the joy we are experiencing in the midst of the pain. We are so happy for Steven as we know he is free from all his struggles and pain and is currently enjoying God's presence. We are so excited that one day we will see him again! We do not grieve as those who have no hope (1 Thessalonians 4:13). In the meantime, we miss Steven A LOT! Your continued prayers for me and my family would be greatly appreciated!

p.s. The above picture was taken two years ago on Pender Island during a small family vacation. It's one of my favourite memories with Steven. We went on a few family walks, and he and I always ended up walking and talking together. It was so special to have some grownup conversations with him and get to know him as a young man vs. as a little boy. I thank God for this memory!

God Doesn't Give Us a Map...

A couple of weeks ago I got to travel with my dad to Cochabamba for a five-day course on radical discipleship. Dr. René Padilla, a renown Latin-American theologian, came all the way from Argentina to give the lectures. One night he shared something a missionary once told him: "God doesn't give us a map. He gives us His hand." I had to write that down...Lately I feel like I'm standing at some major crossroads in my life, and it would be so nice to have a map! But instead of a map, I have a relationship with the sovereign, all-wise, omniscient Creator and Lord of my life! In all my confusion, I am forced to draw closer to Him and depend on Him to get me where I'm supposed to go!

Things have started to change around here. Considering my life has been filled with change, I should be used to it by now. Instead, I find change very hard to process, and it really affects me emotionally. Next week my dad and sister are traveling to Canada to be with my brothers. My mom is waiting to finish some paperwork and hopes to follow them shortly. My Canadian friend, Janelle, got very sick with Salmonella for the second or third time since she's been in Bolivia and decided to move in with us, which means things are crowded in the apartment until people start to leave. On the positive side, this seems to be God's provision for a house-mate during my family's absence in Canada!

A few days ago we (my dad, mom, sister, Janelle and I) made a trip out to Urmiri (hot springs) with the Vargas family (a Bolivian-Canadian family who we are close friends with) and some other Canadian friends. It was a relaxing couple of days, and the place was beautiful! Pictured above is a natural pool of hot water with a waterfall coming down and flowers growing along the rock face. I felt like I had stepped into a travel magazine!!! The one night we spent in Urmiri, a group of us climbed up the hill to gaze at the stars. We were out in the middle of nowhere, and the sky seemed to be covered in stars! It was breathtaking! We even got to see some shooting stars! It was also special to spend time with Rachael (Canadian friend who has been living with the Vargas family). She is moving back to Canada next week, which is another one of the changes I am currently lamenting!

If you think of me, I would appreciate prayers for grace to go through this time of changes. Also pray that God could be providing some source of income to pay for my living expenses, etc., during this time. It's kind of hard to get a job right now because I will be traveling up to the US for my brother's wedding in August/September, but God could provide a job that would be flexible/short-term. My dad is also leaving me some projects to work on, which will help keep me busy.